I am gone
by Silverfox24
Summary: "I used to live for moments like these. How fitting it is for these to be the last things I will ever experience." Warning: Major character death. Rated T for depiction of violence. I've been trying to write 750 words a day, and this is what I came up with today. I'm no good at summaries or titles, the story is much better than both (I hope). I hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

I used to live for moments like these. The moments when Tobias would hold my hand in both of his, when he would caress my cheek, when he would kiss me oh so softly on the lips.  
How fitting it is for these to be the last things I will ever experience.  
I lay on the floor with my back propped up against a cold, hard wall. My gun, discarded, is off to the side, and Tobias's is not far behind. My hands are covered in blood, my shirt is covered in blood, everything is covered in blood there's so much of it. The wound in my chest makes it impossible for me to move, but even if I could, why would I? Everything I care about is right here in front of me, holding my hand.  
My thoughts wander back to the first time I met him, on Choosing Day in the Dauntless compound after I jumped off the roof. At that time, he was just Four. Just my instructor. Now, he's so much more than that.  
I think back to everything we've done together, everything we've been through. The time we climbed the Ferris wheel together, where I learned about his fear of heights and he saved me from falling to my death. When we kissed for the first time, deep in the Pit. When he first said he loved me, that night on the train, the night of the attack simulation. How I felt when I lied to him and went with Marcus. When I betrayed him.  
When he forgave me.  
And now, as he sits with me while the life fades out of me.  
I can hear him saying my name, pleading with me to not die, not to leave him here, alone. I smile at him, and it's a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. His face is the only thing I see, and I am grateful that he is here now. My chest feels like it is on fire, but his presence makes the pain less noticeable.  
Once, when my parents had died, after I killed Will, I craved death. I thought it was the only escape, that the only way I could make things right was to die. But after I was nearly executed at the Erudite headquarters, I realized I was wrong. I didn't want to die. I still had Tobias, and he needed me. I know he still needs me now, as he crouches next to me, clutching my hands. I don't want to leave him so soon, but I know I must. And I am not afraid of death, not now, as it takes me.  
"Tobias," I manage to croak out, squeezing his hands. The bullet in my chest makes it hard to breathe, hard to speak, but I do it anyway.  
I see something flash through his eyes as I say his name, but I can't place it. Love? Fear? Grief? I don't know now, and I will never find out.  
"Tris, please, hold on, we can get help, please don't die, I need you, you can't leave me," His words come out frantic as his eyes search my face. He holds my right hand tightly in both his own, begging me to hold on to what little life I have left.  
Slowly, I shake my head, and give him another small smile. "It's too late for me, Tobias."  
"No, no, don't say that, please don't say that," I can see tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall. I hate watching Tobias cry. It makes me feel weak.  
"I'm not afraid, Tobias," I say quietly, my eyes never leaving his. "I'm glad I got to share my last moments with you. You made my life worth living. You showed me that it wasn't worthless."  
Slowly, I unwrap my hand from his grasp. It hurts too much to move my left side, where the bullet when in, so I simply wrap a single arm around his neck with one hand and pull his lips towards mine. I kiss him tenderly, putting all the love I feel towards him into it, trying to make him understand. I need him to understand. After a few seconds, I pull back, and allow my hand to trail slowly along the side of his face before resting it once again on the floor at my side.  
"I love you." I whisper, and it's the truest thing I have ever said.  
And with that, I am gone.

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**I hope you guys enjoyed it! I'm trying to write 750 words a day, and this is what I came up with today. I thought it was okay, so I thought I would share it with you! It was really fun to write, I simply love Tobias and Tris.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A lot of you asked me to continue this story in Tobias's point of view, so I thought I may as well give it a try! This was what I wrote for my 750 words yesterday before I decided to post it here.**

**Keep in mind that because I wasn't planning on continuing this, updates may be kind of slow as I figure out what I'm doing. If you have any tips for me that would help me correctly portray how he's feeling, I would love that! I've never written anything from Tobias's perspective or felt what it was like to lose a loved one, so I could be doing this all wrong and I'd never know.**

**Also, Lynn, I have no idea who shot her, haha. I didn't actually think of a backstory before I wrote this, which made this chapter harder, but I think I have an idea of what happened now, which I believe you'll hear part of in the story.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!**

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When Tris's eyes glaze over and her chest ceases to rise and fall I know she must be dead, although I refuse to accept it. She wouldn't just leave me, not after everything we've been through together. I remember the first day I saw her, right after she jumped off the roof. The first jumper. So similar to me as she tried to put her Abnegation past behind her, even though she was never really able to fully leave it there.

I think about the time I threw knives at her, when she took Al's place. How she thought I was taunting her, when really I was reminding her why she couldn't step down.

At the time, she didn't understand how her selflessness made her brave. She just thought I was trying to make her give up. I thought I ruined everything that day. She said I was like Eric, and I thought she might never forgive me for that. But I was wrong.

I was wrong then, and I pray that I am wrong today as I stare at her lifeless body.

I hear voices around me and, out of the corner of my eye, see people rushing to help her, to stop the never ending flow of blood from her chest. But they are too late. They are all too late. She can't be helped anymore. She's already gone.

Eventually I see a woman reach out and gently close Tris's eyes. I watch as the stormy-blue irises disappear from view for the last time. I want to smack the woman's hand away, to scream at her, to tell her to get the hell away from my girlfriend or she's going to regret it. But my mouth can't seem to form the words, so instead, I just stare.

My mind seems unable to comprehend the fact that Tris could possibly be dead dead. How could it? Tris, the woman who unknowingly made me stay in Dauntless, who escaped death so many times, even when she went looking for it, dead? No. It couldn't be true. But it is.  
What makes it worse is that I don't even know her killer. He ran away before either one of us could see his face, and it was only us two scouting the area. If I knew, at least I could avenge her. I could make sure he dies the way he made her die. That he feels all the pain I feel now, knowing I must live the rest of my life without her.

That might bring me peace.

But now I'll never know, and it will kill me.

I somehow find my way back to the Dauntless compound, where I sit clutching Tris's hand as she lays on a bed in the hospital wing. Christina and Uriah are there as well, but I pay no attention to them where they sit on the other side of the woman I love. My mind races, and I think of nothing and everything at the same time. All of my coherent thoughts are lost in a sea of grief and guilt. I should have saved her.

I feel someone trying to guide me away from her, and I struggle against them. I don't want to leave her. I can't leave her. I know if I do, I'll never see her again, and I can't let that happen. Christina and Uriah have already gone, already said their goodbyes. If I leave, she'll be alone. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never let her be alone. Eventually they give up from trying to get me abandon my position at her side and I close my eyes, resting my elbows on my knees so that our hands touch my forehead.

I think of all the things that could have been, if she had not of died. We would have been happy together, I know it. Although we fought, our love was true. She almost died because she could not kill me. I know I would have done the same for her.

When I cannot bear to stay with her lifeless body anymore, I stand and touch my forehead to hers, closing my eyes once more. I gently place her right hand on top of her left one where it rests on her chest.

"I love you," I whisper. Then I kiss her lightly on the lips, trying to ignore how cold they are, and walk out of the room and away from her.

Forever.

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**I hope you guys like it! This one definitely isn't as good as the other one and it was kind of rushed at the end as I tried to get it to 750 words on time, so sorry about that! Please review and let me know how I did!**


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